New Journeys Through Gastic Bypass

So there I was. At the OB/GYN's office. Staring down the barrel of my old friend, the scale.

I couldn't believe it.

I knew I had put on some weight. My scrubs were fitting a little tighter, but I could still wear them.

But this.

THIS.

I had finally tipped the scales at a weight I had always promised myself I would never get to.

As I sat on the examination table in nothing but a thin paper vest with a paper sheet over my lap, I decided it was time. I was going to whole heartily invest myself in researching having gastric bypass surgery.

I thought of all the things people could say to me if I told them I was thinking about having the surgery.

"You can do it by your self!" "Well isn't surgery dangerous?" "It just seems like you're giving up!"

Well, no, I can't do it by myself. If I was going to, I would have already. Yeah surgery is dangerous, but you know what else is MORE dangerous? Continuing to live at the weight I am. I'm not giving up. I'm accepting that I have lost control of this problem and admitting that I need help.

Oh dear, I just recited one of the Alcoholics Anonymous steps.

So I called the office that is affiliated with the hospital I work at in the same day surgery department. The first thing they asked me after my name was my height and how much I weighed.

Saying the number over the phone to someone made me want to cry.

I understand it's probably a pre screening thing. Like if you're 5' 2'' and weigh 130 pounds, this road is probably not for you so don't waste your time.

They sent me this large packet full of question pages. What diets have you tried, how long did you try that diet, how much weight did you lose, how long have you been over weight, eating habits, ect. ect. I filled them out, all in all taking about an hour and a half to complete the packet.

That night I told my husband about the appointment. I cried so much. He was of course supportive.

I made a list of reasons why I want to have this surgery done so I can loose the weight. In no particular order....

1. I want to ride an airplane with out having to worry about if I fit in the seat or not, let alone if I"m making the person next to me uncomfortalbe.

2. I want to go to Six Flags and ride all the rides (who cares if I have terrible motion sickness!)

3. I want to go to a movie or concert and not worry about crowding out the person next to me or touching thighs.

4. I want to ride in a car with out the seat belt being streched out all the way.

5. I want to make love to my husband with out feeling disgusting.

6. I want to have babies with out being high risk.

7. I want to get off my blood pressure meds.

8. I want to be able to cross my legs like a lady. I've never been able to do that.

I'm sure that as this will grow as I go though this process. It is live changing. I've seen the transformations people have made working at the hospital and taking care of the gastric bypass patients. I guess I wanted to catalog this journey as well. Maybe for posterity, maybe to give myself an emotional outlet. I have my consultation appointment tomorrow, so we will see where I stand after that experience.