... the part about today will go like this:
"I woke up one morning, 1 day before I was about to leave on my fantastic, life changing, once in a life time opportunity trip to the UK to a text message from my ex-boyfriend Matt. Him and I had been broken up for a year and I was since then dating another fablious guy, David, for about a year at that point in time. The text simply asked if I wanted to grab some lunch with him. I laied in bed, assessing my hunger, and figured it was a good idea. I replyed yes and then he said the words that no one wants to hear:
"Ok, well, I need to talk to you about something."
....
Shit.
At that point in time I was damn sure that Matt still wanted to date me. He was nice to me, he hadn't dated any other girls and he just gave off that vibe of wanting to be together again. I tried not to assume anything, but I couldn't help but think that he was going to ask me to get back together with him before I left for England to visit David for the first time.
I waited patiently outside my house for him. When he pulled up into my drive way, he was visibly shaking as he got out of his car. I knew it was some big news.
"Hey," I said calmly.
"H-hey," he stuttered back.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Well.... This is really hard.... I shouldn't have came here."
I sighed, exasperated, "No, you're going to fucking tell me whats up. It's me Matt. Whats going on?" He wouldn't look at me. He just kept staring off into space as he talked.
"I know you're getting ready to go to England and meet David and... I've only ever wanted you to be happy, you know that... But.... Christina, I just want you to know that when we were dating, I loved you the best that I could, I loved you with all my heart..... And.... Well.... Are you over me?"
I took my time choosing my words. I thought, this could go either way depending on what I say. If I say no, which would be a lie, he might be happy or think I'm crazy. If I say yes, he might be heart broken.
"Yes Matt, I am over you." I braced myself for what would come next.
"Well, I'm over you to... and... I did love you Christina, but you need to know.... that I'm gay."
.........
I didn't know what to say, but he kept talking.
"I wanted to marry you. I had a ring picked out. You can go to my mom and ask her to see it. I honestly, truely wish that this could still work out, even right now, because I love you so much, but because I'm gay, I can never commit to you on a certain level. And that's not fair to either one of us."
As we both started to sob, I said, "I knew.... I knew on a certain level that you were gay. I just never wanted to admit it to myself because we were together for so long, but because of the lack of physical-ness in our relationship, I always knew.... I mean, I'm not mad. I don't regret dating you. I learned a lot and I'll always love you.... But I'm glad you're happy."
At that point, neither one of us said anything much.... I reached out for him to hug me.
"This is going to be, like, the best hug ever," he said as he slid his arms around me.
As we parted, I could only think of one thing to say, "Well.... I'm just glad we didn't have sex cause that would have really messed me up."
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