2nd Day of School

I guess this is the post that I really don't want to write about, but if I want to stick to my new years resolution of getting all my rattling thoughts out and down on paper (or blog), then I need to write.

So last night I was up extremely late researching what it would take me to get a nursing license in the UK. To meet their minimum standards, I'd have to basically get a BSN which would mean another 2 years of school on top of the two years that I need to go through.

This made me horribly, HORRIBLY depressed last night. I started crying and frantically trying to call David.

I eventually got to sleep, but I had a awful dream that David broke up with me via facebook, saying that he couldn't deal with me and my situation with school and calling him all the time.

I then woke up, breathed a sigh of releaf, but was still depressed.

I guess today I've been thinking what else I could do after I got out of school in the UK. I can work for about 6 months here and then go over to Newcastle and try to find a job. There are other things I can do, like do something in the health care field that doesn't require certification (via UK standards). I could do that for about a year or so and see how things work out. Also, it's much easier to move to the UK and get a job if you have someone sponsor you. I could then continue my education there, which would take about 2-3 years if I went full time, and get my certification.

But why I didn't want to write this post is because finding out all this made me seriously question my relationship with David. I mean, I know I need to talk to him about this, maybe not for a while, but it made me wonder if it's even worth it if there is the possibility that we might not even be together for another 4 years.

In 4 years I'll be 25 and he'll be 47. Who knows if he'll still want more kids by then. We had a conversation a while back about me moving to the UK and he was worried that I'd be giving up to much. My feeling is that if I had a job secured, a place to live, and a loving potential husband that I'd have no problem moving there. Yeah, I'd be giving up everything familiar to me, but my friends and family can still come visit and we have facebook and skype to keep in contact with.

I guess my biggest concern is getting a job in the UK. I feel that if I landed a secure job there that everything else would fall into place.

I also feel like I shouldn't be worrying about this currently.... but I can't help that I am.

*big, long, big, big, sigh*

Everything will work out the way it's suppose to.

I just need to believe it.

Over and out ♥