So I finally got go talk to David on the phone about all this nonsense. And, needless to say, it didn't help much.
In a nutshell, he said that he just don't have time for a relationship right now. He doesn't want anyone right now except him and the kids.
He also said that he hated that I called so much, but he couldn't pick up the phone and tell me that he didn't want to talk because of guilt. The phone would ring and ring and ring but he felt so guilty about not wanting to talk to me because he was tired after getting off work and was afraid of what I'd say to him that he just wouldn't pick up the phone and sit on the couch and cry.
Now... this makes me feel like shit. It makes me wish I wouldn't have called so much. And I told him that and he kept saying its not me, its him.
He also said that he's just starting to get a life back; he's making friends at work, he has the job that makes him feel like he's contributing to society. Which, ya know, I'm happy for him.
And he kept saying that it's not that he doesn't want me, it's that he doesn't want anybody.
....
I still can't help but take this to heart.
I my mind, if you love someone, you should want to be with them and try to make it work despite the circumstances. I was trying to be supportive of him and talk when ever he had time. And he says he doesn't have time and it's not fair to me.
But... I love him. And I want to make it work.... He just doesn't want anyone in his life right now.
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