Confessions Of A Tropical Sno Worker

You know how they have "Confessions of a Call Girl" or "Confessions of a Shopaholic"?

Well I'm starting a "Confessions of a Tropical Sno Worker" blog. In list form.

Because I love lists. Lists are cool.

• We do talk about customers when we close the window. When someone walks up to the hut, we will curse them out as much as we can, but when the window opens, it's show time and we'll be as sweet a possible to you.

• No, you may not have every flavor we have. The limit is 5. Once you go past that, you can't taste anything but sugar.

• All Tropical Sno flavors are NOT created equal. We all have our favorites and we all have different tastes. So please find your own favorite!
  

• We have nicknames for all of our regulars. They range from That Guy Who Tips Really Well to Pineapple Guy.

• We also have nicknames for our regulars who we hate. They range from Cruella to Big Black Lady.

• If you come up to the window and you're paying for over 5 people, we expect a tip. If you don't give us one, that gives us incentive to call you a bitch, behind closed windows of course.

• Yes, we love to have fun with our customers. It makes the 4 hours inside the hut go by quicker. Please don't take offense to our making fun of you or our silly little things we do to keep ourselves entertained - we're just bored out of our fucking minds.

• Please and thank you's are a must at T-sno. If you do not say "thank you" when we hand you your snow cone, this also gives us incentive to yell at you... and call you a bitch.

• When we open the window to take your order and we greet you, do not automatically call out your order, "Large Spiderman with Vanilla" then throw your money at us and walk away. This also gives us incentive to yell at you, call you a bitch AND make your sno cone icey.

• We are not your mother! Pick up your damn spoon if you drop it on the ground. Do not rip up your Styrofoam cup into a million little pieces. I don't want to clean it up!

• Watch your children when you're at Tropical Sno. We are located directly next to an extremely busy road that people fly down all the time in their cars. I do not want to have to break out my Future Nurse of America skills on your flat as a pancake kid cause you were too busy talking on your cell phone to watch the little bastard.

• If you're coming from the pool, don't give me wet money. It's fun for no one. Put it in a ziplock baggie for Christ sakes.

• The steel door on the hut has an impenetrable force field around it. We're had two robbery attempts, one with a crow bar and one with an ax (yes, an AX), and still no one has taken anything from the inside. The outside, that's a different story.

• For some reason, people cannot park correctly when visiting Tropical Sno. Please do not park your vehicle out in the middle of BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt) of the parking lot and then cause a traffic jam for other Tropical Sno patrons and members of the pool. I still consider our selves guests of the pool and treat parking my car as such.

• If you ask me if a flavor tastes good and I don't think it does, I'll tell you. I'm not being mean, I'm just being honest.

I can't think of anything else to add to this at the moment, but if any other Tropical Sno workers would like to add to this, tell me!

Over and out ♥