Christian Women

I'm a Christian.

And I'm proud to call myself that. I attend church as regularly a possible, try not to swear a lot, participate in church activities, give back to the community and try to be an all around good Christian.

.....

Try to be an all around good Christian? What does that mean?

I think a lot of people struggle with this one. For a lot of people it's going to church every Sunday, not swearing at all, not drinking AT ALL (let alone before you're 21), not watching "bad" movies, no sex before marriage, being nice to everyone, hanging out with other Christians, all that good stuff we assume goes along with being a Christian.

And that works for some people. But not me.

See, I was reading this article on Xanga written by this woman who says that women should try to wear as little makeup as possible because makeup is something worldly and a lot of women depend on it to cover up their true selves. They use it as a crutch to cover up a not strong sense of inner beauty, weather they know it or not. Ok, I can understand that cause I don't wear makeup a lot and I feel that I have a very strong sense of inner beauty.

But then this woman made this comment to the article:

"I think it's respectful to your husband to wear makeup, because you look better with it. It's just like taking care in our dress and how we fix our hair...it's part of being feminine. " http://www.revelife.com/738047293/taking-off-your-makeup/

..... WHAT?

So, it's respectful to my husband to hide my inner self and glob on foundation that clogs my pours and put on eye shadow that makes me look like a whore?

Ok, that's a bit intense, but still.

I don't understand why a lot Christian women have this subservient attitude. They have the ideal that they need to get married and have a husband and have lots of kids and stay home and take care of them all day to be a good woman. Yes, I want to marry my boyfriend and have kids with him, but I also want my own job and be able to contribute equally to our household. Does this make me a bad Christian woman? No, it just makes me different from most of the Christian women I know.

Where are the Christian women who want to bring home their own bacon and could care less about what a man thinks about you? Why is it so often that strong women do not believe in religion and think its a crock?

Like, when I think about the women in my church, like the adult females, I find most of them to be rather wishy washy or extremely bitchy. It's like none of them have a true sense of right and wrong and they can't stand up for their morals. None of them are confident, robust women who can be leaders. So what ends up happening is that the men become the leaders and the women fall to the back and just make food.

And it bugs the hell outta me.

So what is there to do? There's stepping up and being an example, which I try to be to the youth in my church. But they're all teenagers and have their heads so far up their asses its hard to get through to them. There's trying to get involved with the adults, but that's also hard to because they are old and set in their ways and any change just rocks the boat to much.

Well, there is always the old stand by of "Be the change you want to see in the world".

Yeah, but that gets old after a while also when you don't see that change.

So, once again, what is there to do?

I don't know. Have to think about that one for a while.

Over and out ♥

What 2010 Has Taught Me...

I do this every year, so here we go!

1. Don't let anyone or anything thing stand in the way of your dreams. Don't let what people will think of you influence your decisions. I know this seems kind of "yeah, duh", but I really learned that this year. I traveled to England to go meet my boyfriend of the first time. I had a lot of haters and a lot of supporters on the subject, and I don't regret a single second of it, only that I didn't go sooner.

2. It's ok to have insecurities about things, but don't let them control your life and keep you from living life.

3. Sometimes it's as hard for someone to tell you something as it is for you to hear it....

4. ...And sometimes you don't know what to think about that something and that's ok. Just accept and move on.

5. I'm growing up and my parents are not dealing with that well.

6. Sex is pretty awesome. I know what the fuss is all about now :D

7. "Hate on me, hater
Now or later
‘Cuz I’m gonna do me
You’ll be mad, baby
(Go ‘head and hate)
Go ‘head and hate on me, hater
I’m not afraid of
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me"

8. England is the mother country for me. I'm going to live there some day.

9. I may be repeating myself, but the truth will set you free. Don't feel bad about telling people the truth or how you feel.

10. If you can't do it, JUST SAY NO.

11. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

12. "You’re so amazing, you took the time to figure me out
That's why you take me, way past the point of turning me on"

13. No one needs to put up with hurt from someone. Feel free to walk away.

14. As much as it may hurt, sometimes people need to learn a lesson and the only way they can do that is by you not being there for them to hurt you anymore.

15. " I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade." - Iris from "The Holiday"

Update: ANGST!!!!!

Yeah, David's not going to Spain.

He just put that on FB to make his brother jealous.

So..... more freaking out about nothing.

And I found this out like a couple of days ago and just now posted it lol.

Also went to my first Blues hockey game! It was awesome!!!

That's all :D

Why Are People So Cynical About Love?

I don't get it.

Of course, I'm one of those people who is in love so maybe I don't have room to talk about this, BUT STILL...

I guess I don't get why people hate relationships. I can understand wanting to be single for a period of time and being open to guys (or girls) who come your way. And I understand wanting to enter into marriage as a business arrangement, like figuring out how well you will work together financially.

But what I can't understand is getting married to someone just cause it seems like a good idea. With love or some form of it not being the driving factor behind it. Or not wanting to date at all and feeling like some guy will just fall into your lap that you think is decent.

I feel that a partner should build you up, support you no matter what, call you out if you're being dumb, love you unconditional, not keep score, and just all around be someone who compliments your personality and makes you a better person.

I feel that you should enter into marriage under the basis of love and mutual respect for each other, but not solely love.

I learned a long time ago that a relationship cannot survive on love alone.

....

I guess that I've been thinking about the prospect of marriage with David a lot more too. Like realistically. And I don't want to enter into it blindly as I did with Matt. I've been trying to think of things from every possible angle, like money, time, living arrangements, babies, and most importantly love.

Or maybe I'm just ahead of my time and my friends don't have the same ideals as me, like marriage and babies and working and sharing a life with someone, which, ya know, is fine cause they're my friends and I love them no matter what.

It just kinda sucks when I try to talk about marriage and they all say "Noooo! Not for me, not for another couple of years. Even then, I wouldn't want to be with someone who I was all lovey dovey mushy blah with."

Well, yeah, I wanna wait until I get out of school also, but I still like thinking about it and dreaming with David about that stuff.

....

I guess people don't want me to get built up this fairy tale in my head and then have things crash down around me when it doesn't happen....

But who says I can't have my fairy tale? Who ways I can't have my British prince charming with his three children?

Nobody.

I just gotta be smart about it.

And I feel that I have been so far. Just need to keep that train rolling.

Over and out ♥

Age Is Just A Number...

... and I truely believe this.

But, sadly to say, most of the world doesn't.

Tonight I told the group of people I was chatting with at a party that I'm dating a 42 year old.

You would of thought I told them I was the spawn of satin.

Now, I'm not a naive person. I realize what my relationship looks like to other people. Some young, dumb, fat girl is falling for the first person who tells her that they love her. Or I'm trying to get a sugar daddy. Or he just uses me for sex.

None of that is true.

I just hate that I have to sit up in front of a crowd of drunk fuck asses and explain myself for 20 minutes about why my relationship is not weird. I know, I don't have to explain anything to them. It's my life and I'm happy.

But I WANT to.

I'm so incredibly happy with David and I'll fight until the end for our love and relationship because I believe in us. I've never believed in something so strongly and I can't remember the last time I fought for something this hard.

.....

I guess what pissed me off is these people I was with tonight jumping down my throat. And why do I even give a fuck what they think?

Because that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life if I stay with David.

And I don't want to have to lie about his age or anything. I'm proud of the fact that I date an older man. And the people who know me best know that I wouldn't put myself in a situation that I didn't feel was right for me.

And the people who know me best know that I'm sooooo happy with David. I'm the happiest I've been in years thanks to him. And I keep saying all this over and over because it seems like no one believes me and all they do is look at the fucking fact that he's 42 and not how happy he makes me.

It drives me up the wall.

And I wish i could change peoples point of views.

But I can't. All I can do is rely on myself, my true friends and David for support.

Over and out ♥

Friends

I thought about writing this post last night in that weird time when you're awake, but you're just beginning to dream.

I have a lot of friends. I've always had a lot of friends. Even now as I've gotten out of high school and into college, I still have a lot of friends.

I've come to find out that the older you get, the more your circle of "true friends" shrinks. I mean, I can see how this would happen. People move or get on with their lives and the ones that stay around are the true ones you can count on. People also change and grow apart and values change between friends. What was once important to the both of you now isn't important to one or the other so it makes seeing each other difficult. And sometimes people do change for the worst.

I guess I'm the type of person where I only have a few friends who I could be comfortable hanging with one on one. I like to have a group of people, at least 3, 2 other then myself, with me when I go out places. It just makes things more fun. And means I'm doing stuff by myself a lot because sometimes it's hard to get 2 people together and to agree on something to do.

I also have a problem with inviting people along to tag along when I have to go run errands. Like, I need to go over to St. Louis to pay my tuition. I REALLY don't want to go cause it will be a 2 hour round trip by the time I'm done. I could invite someone along, but I feel bad for dragging them into the situation just for me.

And then, the topic no one likes to talk about: breaking up with friends.

Have you ever had that friend who you weren't that great of friends with, but they thought you were their best friend in the world, when in reality you can't stand them? Yeah, I have. And I ended it. I don't have any regrets about it. I hate being fake friends towards people. And that's what I constantly was towards her. I was a fake friend because I secretly hated hanging out with her. Admittedly I let it go on for too long, which made the breaking up worse, but I needed it to happen. She's really rude and sarcastic towards me now, which is fine. She was always the littler person between the two of us, so I expect her to act childish towards me now, but I'm done and over with it.

.....

And I just got really hungry. Time for food!

Over and out ♥

TOM is visiting...

... and all of my problems usually boil down to that.

The stressing, the freaking out about nothing, the bloating.

And then I go and buy some new clothes and everything seems right in the world :)

OMG, I'm Dumb.

The next time I freak out about David.... Slap me. Or tell me to shut the fuck up and that he's a great guy and why are you worrying about him? He's never done anything to betray your trust.

I hate being a needy, winey girl.

So this morning David sends me a message on FB. He says he doesn't work today and to call him at 10. Cool! 2 hours later he sends me another message saying he got called into work and to call him on Monday. Awesome, he was being respectful of my time and feelings by letting me know he couldn't talk. Perfect, just what every girl wants if a guy can't hang out with her: to let her know well in advance and offer another time to get together.

*sigh*

He's an amazing guy. Then why do I freak out about him for no reason?

Because I'm about to start my period. That's why.

DAMN YOU HORMONES!!!!

But all is good now.

Over and out ♥

ANGST!!!

So I figured out why I'm so angsty lately.

David got on facebook the other day and said he was off to book his holidays (emphasis on the plural).

Ok... well... hes coming to see me, yes, but what is the other one?

Apparently he's going to Spain with the kids. Ok, cool.

So, whats the problem you ask?

Why didn't he tell me? I mean, he has been working to make extra money, which is awesome, but I thought it was cause it super expensive to fly him and 3 kids here.

But he does go there every year and really enjoys it.

I guess I just found it weird that he didn't tell me. I mean, he TECHINALY still hasn't told me. I just kind of read it in a comment convo between him and someone.

He tells me about everything else. I guess he didn't think it was that big of a deal.

I mean, it isn't.

Then why am I still thinking about this...

And why am I so angst ridden.

I want back that connection we had while I was there. I've said this before, but going there to see him ruined me for him. I've never been so happy and so loved and so comfortable. And once you leave that, everything else just pails in comparison.

I guess it also doesn't help that I don't have anything to do and he's busy doing a million things a day.

And why can't I relish in the little things right now. Like the great convo we had on thursday morning. Made me so happy.

I guess all this relates back to facebook. And how its dumb. Ugh.

And then I left him a cute facebook wall post and he shoots it down, kinda.

I said how I like that he's back on facebook and such and he said he's going to put the computer away cause its megans present for christmas. Period.... Ok, well, yeah, thats true, but I was trying to be cute.

And the kids did just break up for school so he's probably also busy with them. And will be.

.....

Things are going to be fine. There isn't even anything to worry about.

So why am I feeling this way?

He's great, he's stable, he's wonderful.... It's the distance. It always boils down to the distance. I hate being this far away from him.

But this summer we will be together. I know this. He's coming here.

Just have to keep reminding myself of this.

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep, with out you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea

Yeah, it's funny how things can change SO quickly.

Finally got a hold of David at 4am this morning. Had a VERY lovely conversation.

Best quote:

Me: "I keep thinking about what Sonia said in that message she sent me. I can deal with the fat comments and stuff, but she said I was a weirdo for loving the kids... Babes, you don't think I'm a weirdo do you?"
David: "Christina, if you're a weirdo, then I'm a weirdo."

Looks like we're weirdos together :D

Now I'm all giddy and can't sleep.

Also decided to not start the diet again until after the holidays. Much eating and drinking is going to ensue. The way I look at it is that I can start after New Years and do it all the way up until my birthday and my birthday, with all of the drinking and cake and merriment, will be my reward for losing weight. Sound good?.... Awesome.

I'm liking life right now.

The only way it could get better is if I had some pancakes and nachos from Denny's. But it's icy like a chilled beverage outside right now and I don't want my yummy pancakes and nachos to turn into Death Pancakes and Suicide Nachos. So, they will have to wait until further notice.

Over and out ♥

Bring Home That Money, Honey

So David got a job delivering pizzas and I'm super proud of him. He's using the money to give the kids an awesome Christmas and to help pay for coming here next summer. Problem, I haven't talked to him since Saturday. As far as I can tell, he leaves to go to work at about 4:30 and doesn't get home until about 12 or 1am. If I was him, I wouldn't want to talk to ANYONE when I got home.

So here's my feelings: I'm super proud of him and I KNOW that he's out working, bringing home that bacon for the kids (and me in some form) and not avoiding me. I'm also super disappointed cause I haven't talked to him in so long. I mean, we've went longer times with out talking, so that doesn't bother me. It's just that talking to him is the highlight of my day. And I feel like I shouldn't put so much emotional value into him, but I'm so in love with him. I can't help it.

I also feel, on some level, that if I don't think about him all the time that I'm not... caring about him enough. It's like when someone dies and you mourn TOO long over them. The dead person wouldn't want you to be all mopey about them dieing. They would want you to live your life. And that's how I feel about missing David: I should miss him, but not let it make me mope around the house all day cause he wouldn't want that.

.....

What else is there to talk about...

Oh, my diet starts back up today. I'm pretty excited because I KNOW I'm going to lose weight. I started out at... a certain number.... and I lost 21 pounds over the course of the whole thing. While I was off of it, I gained back 6 pounds. Not to shabby. So my total weight loss, as of right now, is 15 pounds. I'd like to lose about another 15-20 pounds this time around. That would put me at my high school weight, but not the lowest I was in high school. Exciting!

Over and out ♥

Time For an Update

So, as you can obviously tell, I came home from my wonderful trip alive and well and... well... how do I put this... more of a woman ;)

Anyway, the trip was amazing and meeting David was amazing as well. He is literally the sweetest man I've ever met. He's so attentive and caring and just.... AMAZING. I've never felt so comfortable around someone and connected. I seriously cannot wait until him and the kids come here this summer :D I was reading though all my posts before I left on the trip and I feel so silly for worrying so much. But worry is human nature.

I am glad that I went by myself. I feel like I accomplished something that not a lot of have people have done: traveling internationally by themselves. Well, rather, not a lot of people my age or from my area have done lol.

Not a whole lot has been going on in my life currently. Just trying to get things situated for my parents before I leave for school, which, these past days have shown me that I NEED to move over there. I had to go to orientation the past two days and was a wreck trying to maneuver through traffic in St. Louis those two days. I can't handle that everyday I had class. Also, my parents stress me out like crazy when I'm here. They are always up in my business being... nose and all parent-y. I'm 20. There are some things I don't want my parents to know about. Like the fact I got a speeding ticket the other day. Or constantly be watching over my shoulder when I'm up stairs, asking me what I'm doing every minute.

What else... I got the chickens ready for winter today. Stapled feed sacks over their windows, put the heater on their water container, more straw in the coop. But that's not really exciting.

I really wish it would snow A LOT. England has gotten 3+ feet of snow and I'm soooo jealous. I want a white Christmas!

Speaking of Christmas, what do you guys want for Christmas? I, of course, would love to have a plane ticket to England for a week to spend with David and the kids. But... yeah, my parents wouldn't go for that.

I can hope, right?

Over and out ♥

I'm Back!!!

I'm officially done with my month long travel adventure and all I have to say is that I'm both happy and sad that it's over.

I'm happy because I'm home and I get to see all my friends, but sad because I had to leave all my new friends I made on the tour. And because I had to leave David and the great country of England.

Seriously though, everyone has asked me what it was like or how was my trip and my response has been, "It was like I was returning home to the mother land." I don't know why, but England has a lot of stuff figured out that the US could take some notes on.

For one, they are so environmentally conscious over there its crazy. Everything is either biodegradable or comes in smaller packaging.

And, I know I said this a lot on the trip, but everything really is smaller over there. Food portions, cars, roads, houses, malls. EVERYTHING really is bigger in America.

I also just love the way of life over there. People and culture does differ from region to region, like in London everyone is always on the move and farther up north everything is a bit slower and the people are friendlier, but over all, I just love the people and way of life there.

And most of all, I miss David terribly. Only being there for 2 days and a bit of a morning was not enough time with him. I can honestly say I've never felt so comfortable around a guy I really really like. We would sit and talk for hours and just look into each other eyes. I've honestly never felt this way about someone and it's probably because I've never met a guy who is as amazing as David.

I heard this quote on the TV while I was there: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" And that's seriously how I've been feeling since I got home.

I have a renewed passion for wanting to go to school. I want to get out and find a job and stand on my own two feet so I can have my life start.

I've got 2 more years of school to look forward to, then I'm out.

Please let this go by fast

Over and out ♥

In The Book I'm Going To Write Someday...

... the part about today will go like this:

"I woke up one morning, 1 day before I was about to leave on my fantastic, life changing, once in a life time opportunity trip to the UK to a text message from my ex-boyfriend Matt. Him and I had been broken up for a year and I was since then dating another fablious guy, David, for about a year at that point in time. The text simply asked if I wanted to grab some lunch with him. I laied in bed, assessing my hunger, and figured it was a good idea. I replyed yes and then he said the words that no one wants to hear:

"Ok, well, I need to talk to you about something."

....

Shit.

At that point in time I was damn sure that Matt still wanted to date me. He was nice to me, he hadn't dated any other girls and he just gave off that vibe of wanting to be together again. I tried not to assume anything, but I couldn't help but think that he was going to ask me to get back together with him before I left for England to visit David for the first time.

I waited patiently outside my house for him. When he pulled up into my drive way, he was visibly shaking as he got out of his car. I knew it was some big news.

"Hey," I said calmly.

"H-hey," he stuttered back.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Well.... This is really hard.... I shouldn't have came here."

I sighed, exasperated, "No, you're going to fucking tell me whats up. It's me Matt. Whats going on?" He wouldn't look at me. He just kept staring off into space as he talked.

"I know you're getting ready to go to England and meet David and... I've only ever wanted you to be happy, you know that... But.... Christina, I just want you to know that when we were dating, I loved you the best that I could, I loved you with all my heart..... And.... Well.... Are you over me?"

I took my time choosing my words. I thought, this could go either way depending on what I say. If I say no, which would be a lie, he might be happy or think I'm crazy. If I say yes, he might be heart broken.

"Yes Matt, I am over you." I braced myself for what would come next.

"Well, I'm over you to... and... I did love you Christina, but you need to know.... that I'm gay."

.........

I didn't know what to say, but he kept talking.

"I wanted to marry you. I had a ring picked out. You can go to my mom and ask her to see it. I honestly, truely wish that this could still work out, even right now, because I love you so much, but because I'm gay, I can never commit to you on a certain level. And that's not fair to either one of us."

As we both started to sob, I said, "I knew.... I knew on a certain level that you were gay. I just never wanted to admit it to myself because we were together for so long, but because of the lack of physical-ness in our relationship, I always knew.... I mean, I'm not mad. I don't regret dating you. I learned a lot and I'll always love you.... But I'm glad you're happy."

At that point, neither one of us said anything much.... I reached out for him to hug me.

"This is going to be, like, the best hug ever," he said as he slid his arms around me.

As we parted, I could only think of one thing to say, "Well.... I'm just glad we didn't have sex cause that would have really messed me up."

Taking The Semester Off: UPDATE

Alright, so I'm about knee deep in this whole taking the semester off thing.

So far, it just feels like an endless summer, except most of my friends have disappeared or are constantly stressed out and I'm constantly in a "Sound of Music" state of mind.

The "Sound of Music" state of mind referring to the part where she's running around on the hill top, not the Nazi part.

My days are usually full of sleeping in until 10am or so, spending time with my mom, bumming around the GlenEd area running various errands that I usually have to do, going to the gym, cooking, working at T-sno or the church and reading. LOTS of reading.

It also helps to have a project to make the time pass faster. My current project is getting my ass to England to have my "Sound of Music" state of mind in the middle of the UK and meet my prince charming. It's actually pretty daunting, really. I have to fly to London by myself, find my way to the hotel by myself, then find my way to David's by myself and then to the airport in his town by myself... wait, no, he's dropping me off at the airport.

I have pretty much all of this figured out, which one of my friends doesn't like cause he thinks that it takes away from the adventure of the all, but I have 16 full days to be wreckless.

......

I've only meet one other person who is taking this semester off and her reasons are different from mind. After attending college for 2 years, she still doesn't know what to do with her life, so she decided to stop wasting her parents money and her time and take the semester off.

I'm reminded of something that Hank Green made a vlog about concerning this. In today's day in age, we're always pressured to know what we're doing in the future, work for the future. But when someone steps out and says I don't know what I want to do with my future, it's looked upon as admirable or foolish.

I personally think that its admirable to not know what to do with your life at this current juncture of age. I'm 20, an adult by some standards, not by others, and I don't have it all figured out. I think that a lot of other people my age do have it figured out and some think they do but don't.

I don't want to turn into the older adult version of myself and not have experienced what I'm experiencing right now. Some version of carefree-ness. Some version of not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring. Some version of being hopelessly in love with a man you shouldn't be, but you can't help it because he gets you in a way you've never experienced before and you're ready to run off to his home country just to see if you two click the way you both want to in person.

I guess that what I'm getting at here is that, despite what society or your parents tell you, it's ok to not have it figured out, because I think that a lot of them wish they could admit that, but they can't cause they're adults.

But things are going well :D

Over and out ♥

Tuesday

I have a lot to do today.

List time!

- Call the dentist and reschedule my check up (because I'll be in England :D)
- Get the oil changed in my car
- Go to the bank and tell them the exact dates I'll be in each country on my tour so I can use my debit card there and not have it frozen
- Get food for chickens
- Try to locate the system disks for my Dad's laptop (which is near impossible)
- Work out (may try to catch the 5:30 water aerobics class)
- Call David ♥
- Try to fix something yummy for dinner (or just order some Mr. Curry's)
- Start making a packing list for England
- Attempt to clean my room (I'm going to be gone for a whole month straight. I don't want it to look worse when I get back then when I leave, dust wise at least)

And there you go.

......

I'm getting excited about meeting David. And nervous. On Sunday we talked about what if we don't like each other and what if we do like each other "in that way" and such and it kinda put a damper on my mood. Like it made me feel like he wasn't going to like me or he didn't want to deal with having a long distance girlfriend anymore. But then we talked yesterday and he was all worried about weather or not I'll like him (which I will, I know I will), and I simply said to him what he said to me Sunday, which was, "I know I'll like you. I know it. But if I don't, then we'll be great friends, ok?" Plus, he told me to pack my naughty school girl outfit and that I need a seeing too.

That always helps me feel better about things :-)

Over and out ♥

How I Saved $3,000 In One Year

As many of you are now aware of, I'm going on a tour of England.

I paid for the trip all out of money that I've saved in the past year.

The tour ended up being $2,601 and the plane tickets around $1,000 (my parents agreed to pay that), so that leaves me with roughly $300 spending money, but I still need more cause exchange rates SUCK.

How did I do this while only working part time part of the year and going to school full time the other part?

Let me explain in list form:

- First of all, I did not have a boyfriend who lived in this country who I spent money on all the time. After Matt and I broke up, I had SO much money that I didn't know what to do with it. So I started saving it and using it to fund a trip to see my new boyfriend, David. I did send David packages (postage is not cheep), but one lump sum of money at a time is better then spending a bunch of little sums of money on boy all the time (for saving, at least).

- I made money any way, shape or form I could. During the summer I work at Tropical Sno in Edwardsville earning $8.25 an hour. Most of my paycheck went into savings. I also dog-sat and house-sat as well. During the winter I cleaned houses and worked in my church's nursery earning $10.25 an hour. I wasn't ashamed to do menial stuff, like babysit, do chores around the house. Money is money no matter what way you slice it.

- I tried to have as little bills as possible. The only "bill" I pay every month is $40 to Compassion International for my sponsor child. Yes, my parents do pay for my car, cell phone, gas, insurance and schooling, but that is besides the point.

- I was stingy as hell with my money. I did not loan any one any money at any time during this whole thing.

- I kept all my money from Christmas and my birthday. I also only asked for money for those two holidays as well.

- I LITERALLY saved my pennies. Every few days or so, I would empty out my wallet of all lose change. My dad had an extra change counter (one of those things you put change in and it adds it all up) and I would use that to see how much change I had. It became a little game I would play with myself. I would try to get enough change to get to $20, then $30 and so on. I'm currently at $99.44 and it's killing me a little inside to not be at $100.

- I sold stuff on Craigslist. Seriously. I made roughly $250 selling my old junk on there. We only had 1 garage sale in the time I was saving (I also sold stuff there and donated all the old stuff to Goodwill OR sold it on Craigslist), but Craigslist is a great way to get rid of stuff. You have to be patient and sometimes post stuff multiple times before it gets sold, but it will happen one way or another.

- If I spent money on something, I made it worth it. I recently bought 6 books that I really wanted off of Amazon.com. I saved money by combining books together for shipping and getting some dirt cheap. I ended up spending $43 on all them, shipping included.

- One thing that really killed me sometimes is that I would break down and flat out ask my parents for money. If some friends wanted to go over to St. Louis and do something, I would tell my mom what was up and ask her for a little bit of money. She or my dad would front me a bit, nothing huge (like $10 or $15), just so that I could have a nice time. It also helped that I would have a rough estimate in my head before posing this to them so I could get exactly as much money as I needed to go out. But then there were the times that I didn't want my parents to know where I was going, so I would have to front my own money for those trips. Again: choose how you spend your money wisely.

- Watching my spending on food was a HUGE thing too. When I would go out to eat with friends, I would order water and put lemon and sugar in it in stead of getting a drink. I limited myself to eating out one time a week (it was usually Mr. Currys *nomnom*). Generic food products became my best friend. Cooking at home became my staple. I would pack my lunch or dinner to take to work instead of grabbing something on the run. If I went out to eat more than once a week, it would be with my parents so they could pay for the meal.

- Another huge thing was that I didn't put my money into my checking or savings account. Now, you may say, "Christina, some one as money savvy as you should know that you could have drawn interest on that money while it was in there." Yes, this is extremly true, but if it was in any of my accounts, it would have been WAY too easy for me to spend. And because the current economy SUCKS, it would not have earned that much interest anyway.

- The number one most cardinal thing that I did during this time was I watched what I spent. It may seem like a "duh" thing to do, but it really helped me. I still bought some things that I wanted, but I put the work in and hunted around for deals. If I saw a book at Borders Bookstore that I wanted, I would wait a few days to see if I still wanted it, and if I did, I would go online to find the cheapest one possible.

I'm still trying to save some more money, seeing as the tour doesn't provide us dinner half the dates and we have lots of excursions to choose from. I need at least $250 to do all the excursions that I want to do on the trip an then another.... I don't know.... maybe $200 for dinners and lunches on the trip. So lets make that an even $800 I need/want in spending money for the trip.

And I'll get it, one way or another. I'm still working at T-sno, still working in the nursery, so the money will come in slowly, but surely.

Over and out ♥

Itinerary For England Tour (September 29th – October 19th)

Alright.

It’s official.

I’m going to England.

I booked and paid for the tour today.

This tour is freaking sick. Like, I could not ask for a better tour or time or price or anything (*plug* Contiki Tours)

Here’s the low down:

Day 1, Wednesday September 29^th – Depart from St. Louis.

Day 2, Thursday September 30^th – Arrive in London. Take the day to check in, mosey around the city, and go to the Doctor Who store, of course.

Day 3, Friday October 1^st – Take a sightseeing tour of London (Westminster Abby, Buckingham Palace, Parliament, Big Ben, Tower of London). Leave to Bristol, on the way stop at Stonehenge, Bath, spend the night in Bristol.

Day 4, Saturday October 2nd - Continue on our way to York. Stop at Liverpool on the way and take in a Beatles music tour! Once in York we will see York Minster and Clifford's Tower. Spend the night in York.

Day 5, Sunday October 3rd - Continue to Lake District. Sight see the beauty, possibly go on canoe or kayak. Then a cruise on Lake Windermere. Try a traditional afternoon English tea! Spend the night in Lake District.

Day 6, Monday October 4th - Continue to Edinburgh, Scotland. Stop by Hadrian's Wall, Gretna Green, check out Edinburgh. Option to have a traditional Scottish dinner. Spend the night in Edinburgh.

Day 7, Tuesday October 5th - Explore Edinburgh!

Day 8, Wednesday October 6th - Continue to Scottish Highlands. Visit the Home of Golf, visit a whisky distillery, cruise LOCH NESS!!!!, then spend the night in the Scottish Highlands.

Day 9, Thursday October 7th - Continue to West Highlands. Drive past breath taking views, Eilean Donan Castle, then to the Isle of Skye, visit Portree, Trotternish Peninsula, Ben Nevis (Brittians highest mountian) and then spend the night in this area.

Day 10, Friday October 8th - Make our way to Glasgow, via Stirling. Explore the city, eat, drink, be merry.

Day 11, Saturday October 9th - Ferry across the Irish Sea to Northern Ireland and travel though County Meath and Boyne Valley - site of Ireland's most bloody battles. Continue to Dublin. Spend the night there.

Day 12, Sunday October 10th - Continue to Londonderry. Pass through Belfast in the process. Visit the Giant's Causeway! Spend the night to Londonderry.

Day 13, Monday October 11th - Take a tour of Londonderry. Continue to Galway, spend the night there getting to know the city.

Day 14, Tuesday October 12th - Galway. Boat cruise out to the Aran Islands. Spend another night in Galway.

Day 15, Wednesday October 13th - Continue to Cork. Pass by Blarney Castle where we can kiss the Blarney Stone! Arrive in Cork and spend time rummaging around. Visiting the history English Market, operating since 1785.

Day 16, Thursday October 14th - Continue to Kilkenny. On the way, visit Cobh, where the Titanic make her last port of call. Learn about Irish migration to America. Tour of Jameson's whiskey distillery!!!! Kilkenny Castle and St. Canice's Cathedral. Spend the night in Kilkenny.

Day 17, Friday October 15th - Continue to Dublin. Touring Dublin, learning about the history, GUINNESS FACTORY TOUR!!!!!!!

Day 18, Saturday October 16th - Continue back to London. Ferry back across the Irish Sea to Wales. Pass through Snowdonia National Park, visit Llanfairpwllgwyngyll. End in London, spend the night. Tour officially as ended.

Sunday October 17th - I will continue on and take the train up to Newcastle where I will meet David, one way or another. Spend the night at David's.

Monday October 18th - Spend the day in Newcastle doing whatever.

Tuesday October 19th - Fly out of Newcastle.

This is the link to the actually itinerary from Contiki.

http://contiki.com/tours/128-great-britain-ireland/itinerary

.....

A good deal of people have voiced their concern about me meeting David. I know the risks of going and meeting him by myself. But I'm smart. I do believe in the good of humanity, but I am a smart girl who can figure things out for her self. It does upset me when people are not supportive of my endeavors because it fills me with doubt and doubt WRECKS me.

I may seem like a confident person on the outside, and for the most part I am. But if I don't have support behind me when I do BIG things... I just crack. Honestly, if my Mom wasn't so cool about me going to see David, I wouldn't of even thought of planning this trip. I would have just sat at home for the whole of October not doing anything.

But I am doing something.

I'm going on the trip of a lifetime to England.

I'm meeting my *hopefully* prince charming.

And, most importantly, I'm bringing home some freaking Irish whiskey.

Over and out ♥

Well Shit, Son...

It's 3:12am and I cannot get to sleep at all.

I was wanting to save this for a later blog post, but here it goes:

I'm going on a legit tour to England. One that will take up 18 days and take me to 4 countries.

I haven't booked it yet. That's going to happen tomorrow... er, today rather.

I'm so anxious about it. But for the wrong reasons.

After the whole tour is said and done, I'm going to spend 4 days with David. So far, I have not been able to contact him since Saturday. I realize this is only 4 days and that I've gone longer spans of times with out having contact with him, but I still always get this sinking feeling when we don't talk for a few days that he's never going to talk to me again. I don't know why. I really don't.

Every time we talk on the phone he's always like, "I love you, come stay as long as you like, you're welcome at my house no matter what", but so many times I've had to carpet ripped out from under me by the people whom I'm romantically involved with.

Even though it's only 4 days I'm risking and if some how I can't get to his house or what not I could just get a hotel, I still am FREAKING out about it. It's not the meeting part. I know that we'll like each other. It's the 'will he show up to meet me some place' part. It's the 'if I take a taxi to his house, will I be able to find his house' part. It's the 'will I have to be really jank and show up on his door step because he doesn't answer his phone between now and October the 16th' part.

God I'm crazy.

Here's whats probably going to happen:

I'll go to the travel agent today and book the tour, the plane tickets, all that good jazz. I'll get a hold of David some time between today and the time I leave for England (which should be either the 22nd or 29th of September). I'll tell him, "Hey, I'm going to be coming to your house either late on the 16th of October or early the 17th. Be ready." He'll say, "Wow babes, this is really happening.... I hope you don't mind my garden." And then he will take a bath.

I actually just laughed at that. And relaxed a little.

It's all going to be alright. One way or another, we're going to meet. I'm not going to fucking England with out meeting David.

Period.

Over and out ♥

P.S. I'll post stuff about the trip after we book it tomorrow... er, today.

I Wear My Heart On My Sleeve...

Like, I wish I could tattoo a heart on my arm with out there being too many negative ramifications in the future, but as we all know, the health care field looks down upon tattoos.

But I can't help that I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I don't see this as a bad thing. I'm always honest with people, even to the bitter end. I love fully, deeply, passionately. I can never commit to anything either. I'm always on the move.

I never take anything seriously, especially myself and except for the things I take seriously.

But sometimes it catches up with me.

I have trouble seeing the big picture because I get so wrapped up in the moment. I love being in the moment, but it does bite me in the butt.

Like, at this moment, I'm trying to plan a trip to England, by myself, in less than a month all because David said that I could come this month. September.

But, because I get wrapped up in the moment, I get SO PISSED OFF when he doesn't answer his phone when I call him. I know its not his fault a lot of times - he does have 3 kids to chase around. But since I'm trying to get my shit together in LESS THEN A MONTH, I want him on call for me.

Yes I'm being demanding. Yes I'm being a bit bitchy about it. Yes I'm being super annoying and nagging calling him all the time, but I want to talk to him NOW.

......

I do love David. A lot. I've never met someone who understands me so well with having only known me for a year. He is constantly inside my head. No one has ever been that way with me. Romantically or friendship wise. He knows the way I'm feeling and what I'm thinking just from the way I say my words to him on the phone. And the same goes for me for him.

I've never loved someone so purely, with out strings or regrets. Well, I guess the only regret that I have is that I didn't visit him sooner, but that will be fixed soon.

Yes, I do get frustrated with him at times because he can't fully devote himself to me at times because of the kids. But I don't think that I would love him as much if he didn't. I love that he is a full time dad. It speaks volumes about his character.

.......

I'm slowly starting to feel better about going to England by myself.

I've been looking up tours in London, so that I'm not blindly running around London not knowing what the fuck I'm looking at.

My biggest worry is getting places. I'm not the best with following train schedules. I'm also worried about having enough money to get around places. I wish I was taking my credit cards, just in case I run out of money.... I think I will just in case.

Folks... I'm going to the UK.

By. My. Self.

......

This is going to be epic.

Over and out ♥

Tentative Travel Dates for England

So I've been trying to figure out what dates would be best to go to England.

Here's what I'd love to happen:

Thursday September 30th - Friday October 1st: Fly out to Newcastle.

Saturday Oct. 2nd: Spend the day resting and recouping from the flight, settling in.

Sunday Oct. 3rd: Dive up to Edinburgh and spend the day there bumming around, seeing The Folly, the Zoo, and The Royal Britannia (the Queens yacht).

Monday Oct. 4th - Thursday Oct. 7th: Spend time with David and the kids, getting to know one another, hanging out, doing "British" things, what ever that might be.

Friday Oct. 8th - Sunday Oct. 10th: Take a train to Holyhead, Whales, then a ferry over to Dublin on Friday. Saturday spend the day doing whatever. Sunday take the ferry and train back to Newcastle.

Monday Oct. 11th - Thursday Oct. 14th: Spend more time in Newcastle, doing whatever. At this point in my trip, I would like to spend a few days during the week going to London, but David has talked about taking the funding money and taking all of us to London for the weekend.

Friday Oct. 15th - Sunday Oct. 17th: Spend the weekend in London.

Monday Oct 18th: Spend one last day in Newcastle

Tuesday Oct. 19th: Fly home.

So, that would be there for 19 days, approx. 2 1/2 weeks.

.....

We had a big talk about all this on Sunday, but I haven't pitched this tentative travel schedule to him yet. He keeps telling me I'm welcome as long as I want to stay, but I honestly don't want to be a bother to him. I don't want to over stay my welcome.

He worries that I'll judge him because of his garden (which I won't), and I worry that I'll over stay my welcome and be a burden to him.

Yup, we are two of a kind.

I was extremely sick today - horrible headache accompanied by extreme nausea. I couldn't move with out feeling like I was going to throw up or my head was going to explode. I ended up staying in bed until 3pm, managing to get outta bed, shower, and fix a lovely dinner of a nice, big salad with tuna, some macaroni and cheese and an apple with peanut butter.

Plus, today David was helping a friend install an outdoor toilet for his house for when ever he has BBQ's so that people don't have to come in the house. The friend is extremely wealthy, like Robert Plummer wealthy, and he lays oil rig pipes for a living. So he was probably super tired by 10pm, when I usually call.

Why am I nervous about pitching him an idea? Ugh.

I guess that, like, I have so much I want to do and I don't want to overwhelm him with all this. David is one of those people who..... there are times where he gets really caught up in what he's doing. Nothing else can bother him. And I don't want to disrupt him too much. Yeah, I'm going to be staying with him for almost 2 1/2 weeks, so that will be different. Someone who he's never met, someone who is an American with all of my... American-ness.

I'll tell him all this tomorrow and see what happens. Hopefully he'll be alright with those dates and I'll be buying a plane ticket tomorrow or the day after.

We'll see what happens.

Over and out ♥

October

That's the month that David and I have decided that I should come to England.

I'm so geeked.

We had an hour long conversation today about everything dealing with me coming.

I told him I wanted to go to Scotland, Ireland and London and he was totally cool with that. He said that him and the kids would go with me to Scotland, since I just want to go to Edinburgh and it is literally like 30 minutes away. Dublin we decided that I'll go by myself and he said that he might be able to use the funding money to get us (the kids, him and I) a 3 night stay in London so I can see Big Ben, The Tower of London, Westminster Abby and all that good stuff.

He also said that I could wait until next summer to come, so that the kids will be off school and he would have more money to take me places and I'd have more money saved up, but I promptly shot that down. I've been waiting toooooo long for this. Yes, it does make sense, but... I've been waiting too long. WE have been waiting too long for this.

And, bless his little heart, but he keeps talking about what a mess his garden is! He always says how he doesn't want me to judge him because of his garden. I mean, HOW BAD can it be? And even if it was that bad, I wouldn't judge him.

He is one of the sweetest, caring, thoughtful men that I have ever met and there is no way that any of that is going to change because he has some weeds growing in his garden.

And then he goes and takes a bath :D

...

I'm getting really excited about this.

It's happening:

I'm

going

to

England.

I can't wait :D

Over and out ♥

Things I Don't Get

I'm a college educated woman.... Or rather, I'm a young woman who is perusing a college education.

There are a lot of things in the world that I still don't understand, and that's fine.

But there are some things that, I feel, I should understand but I don't.

1. Why do parents, on Facebook, post a picture of their kid as a profile picture?

I understand you love your kid and everything, but do you really want someone creeping on your kid while trying to find an adult friend? Just saying.

2. Red Light Cameras

There is this particular intersection on 157 going towards SIUe that, I'll admit, I've ran the red light at a few times (like 6) and it does have red light cameras watching it. I have yet to see a ticket. I honestly think that 3/4's of them are meant to scare people. And the other 1/4th, they are RUTHLESS.

3. Car Bras

Google it if you don't know what that is.

4. Why people fill their lives with obsessions, like Vampires, Wearwolfs, Gaga, guys or Japanese pop groups.

5. Why, if if you're in a committed relationship with someone, you lust for someone else.

Be happy with what you have. (This is NOT something that I'm experiencing, BTW)

6. Facial Tattoos

Unless you're part of an African Tribe or something where they do that. But in most western cultures, no.

I'll add more to this list later.

Over and out ♥

England Trip

Ok, so, I have not talked to David since Saturday about the whole he-only-got-500-pound-from-the-charity-so-I'm-going-to-England thing.

No worries. It's not out of character for him to be busy and not pick up the phone for a few days.... As many of you know from my freaking about it earlier in our relationship.... Yeah...

Anyway, I've pretty much decided that, if I do go (which, why wouldn't I?) that I'm going to ingest all the the United Kingdom has to offer me.

I want take the UK by storm.

Here's a list of the places I want to visit:

Newcastle upon Tyne - Well, this is where David lives, so, yeah, I'm going there obviously.

Stonehenge - I GoogleMapped this and its about 5 1/2 hours from David's house. I mean, that's not really a 1 day trip, but I wanna go. And, ya know, its freaking Stonehenge!

Westminster Abby - I read this book called "Remember, Remember The 5th Of November, Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About British History With All The Boring Bits Taken Out" and yes that the title, and I learned of the importance of Westminster Abby and how it was built by King Edward and all that good stuff, so I thought it would be awesome to visit.

And since I'd be in London, might as well add Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, The Globe Theater, and the Tower of London to that list.

Canterbury Cathedral - I don't know how attainable this would be cause its REALLY far away from everything.

Edinburgh, Scotland - Mostly to visit The Folly and be like John Green and describe everything as "Scotland-y".

Dublin, Ireland - Um, hello, Guiness Factory! Oh, and, ya know, it's rich history and... all that lot. And all the stuff listed on this page would be cool also http://www.visitdublin.com/seeanddo/FreeDublin/listing.aspx?id=348

I don't know if all of these places will be visited, I don't even know if any of these places will be visited, period.

Maybe this is some big pipe dream of mine that will never be fulfilled, and that does scare the shit outta me because I've been thinking about all of this and waiting and hoping and waiting and lusting and waiting and waiting and waiting to find out if or if not David got the money to come here for almost 10 months AND he didn't get enough. So now its like the big wheels of fate have been set in motion for this to happen - for me to go there.

I've promised him so many times via phone and internet that I would go meet him if he couldn't come here. And I want to keep my promise.

But it still scares the shit outta me that I might not go. And, honestly, I chalk that feeling up to not talking to him since Saturday. And its only Monday.

This is how crazy I am.

Aside from the craziness and more rationally, all of this poses a great deal of money to be had to visit these places. Train tickets, hotel stays, tour tickets, FOOD. I do have a great deal of money saved up, but do I have enough? I'll have to crunch some number at a later date.

I just want to start planning. I want to get a hold of David. Honestly, I think his phone was broke today or something cause every time I would call, during a 5 hour period, it would ring once then go straight to voice mail.

So much excitment though.... So much to think about....

I seriously go back and forth about 3 times a day if I should go or not. I wake up in the morning thinking, "I'm going to meet David and see England!" and then my self doubt kicks in and I think, "You've never met this man and you're about to run off to his hometown and stay at his house for a few weeks." And then I think, "But isn't that what life is about? Taking chances?"

During this whole thing, I've always thought of this quote that I read a long time ago. It says:

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. NOBODY said it would be EASY, they just PROMISED it would be WORTH it."

That gives me strength when I have my self doubt.

*sigh*

It'll be ok. I'll land on my feet. I always do.

Over and out ♥

Movies

I have had a love affair with movies since I can remember.

I love how a movie can suspend your reality for 2 hours or so and only make you focus on what is happening right then on the screen.

I love how wrapped up I get in movies, even the ones I've seen a million times *coughTheHolidayandP.S.ILoveYoucough*

But, here's something I don't understand:

Why is it that all the really hard to understand movies are the ones that get so much critic acclaim?

Last night I was watching this movie called "Rachael, Rachael" directed by Paul Newman.

Speaking of which, in his hay-day, Paul Newman was a stone cold FOX.





*drools*

Yes, my affinity for older men is not creepy.

.....

Moving on....

This movie centers around this 30-something woman who still lives with her mother in the funeral parlor that they run and own. She equates everything to death. She's not suicidal, but she just has a weird fascination with death and dying. She falls in love with a doctor and gives up her virginity to him. Then the mom finds out by finding her stash of condoms and almost has a heart attack. Then she ends up going to the doctor (not the virginity taking one), cause she thought she was preggo, but it turned out to be a cyst on her uterus or some other lady part that was causing her periods to stop. Then she gets SUPER upset about not being preggo, then decides to move to Oregon to take up this teaching job, and her mother comes with.

The End.

Yeah, weird huh?

Some how this movie was nominated for an academy award. I couldn't follow half of the dialog because it jumped around so frequently and with all her flash backs to when she was a child, it just confused the hell outta me.

Another weird movie that was so highly praised was "No Country For Old Men". I don't exactly remember what the plot of this movie is, if it had one to begin with, but I remember some tall guy driving around killing people with this stake thing that shoots out of a metal tube hooked up to an air compressor. And then the movie just ENDS.

AND yet another weird movie that was highly praised was "Million Dollar Baby". Yeah, I cried when *SPOILER ALERT!!* Hilary Swank asked Clint Eastwood to kill her with that weird poison stuff in the needle because she was paralyzed from the neck down, but the getting to that part was kinda drawn out. It seemed like everything happened in the last 20 minutes of the movie. Maybe it was because Clint Eastwood directed the movie and all that it got such acclaim, I don't know, but the movie struck me as one that shouldn't have been up for an academy award.

Maybe I'm not seeing something in these movies that the academy is. Maybe the whole deal is just a big name drop kinda thing. Like, "Holy crap, Clint Eastwood gave the director of this movie some advice on how to shoot a scene in this movie! Lets nominate it for an academy award!!" Or, "Holy crap, Clint Eastwood took a dump in this movie for 5 minutes, we need to nominate it for an academy award!!!"

I guess that's one of the things that puts a bad taste in my mouth about movies sometimes: other people don't like the same ones I do as much as I do.

But to each his own I suppose.

Over and out ♥

Welp, The Cats Out Of The Bag

Yup, that's right folks, I'm pregnant.

.....

I'm kidding.

But, on a serious note, David and I found out about the funding. And, yes, he DID get it, BUT! he only got 500 pound (which is, like, $750). Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm bummed because there is no way he's going to be able to come up with 1000 more pound to come here. I mean, maybe he could, but I don't see how he'll be able to.

And, honestly, I want him to put that money to better use then coming to see me right now, like getting his internet hooked up at his new house. I mean, I have MORE then enough to go there and see him and have myself a grand 'ol time while there.

So, if you haven't connected the dots yet, I'm going to England.

I don't know when yet. David and I still need to talk about that. When I phoned him today, the kids mom was there and she was very nasty to me, so he said call back later.

I've also kind of decided that, since I am going to England, I'm going to Scotland and Ireland. I've got the time, I've got the money, I'm doing it.

I don't know how, but I'm doing it.

.....

Man, I'm so excited, but so nervous.

What if David doesn't like me? What if he takes one look at me and says, "Um... no." What if the kids don't like me?

Ugh, I'm such a mess. One minute I think, "He'll love me, I know he will." Then the next I think, "What if he doesn't, what will I do?" Then after I think that, I think, "Well, I'll just run off to Ireland for the time I'm there if he doesn't like me."

*sigh*

It will all be ok. It always is.

As David tells me all the time, "We'll be ok babes - we always land on our feet."

And that's why I love him more than anything.

Over and out ♥

New Goal, Funding, Taking The Semester Off

Alright folks, I have a new goal for myself.

I want to enter something in the Illinois state fair next year. I'm not sure what, be it either vegetables, chickens, baked good, ANYTHING, I want to enter something. Or showcase something.

I don't care if I place or anything, I just want to do it because... well... we live in the Midwest and we take pride in giving awards for things like huge vegetables or good pies.

Its what we do!!

On to other things...

I'm super anxious to hear about David and the funding and everything. Like, if it doesn't happen this week, I'm booking a plane ticket to go there. Seriously. I can't take this waiting much longer.

*sigh*

And I'm nearing on starting my whole "taking this semester off" thing. It's kinda scary. A good portion of my friends are away at school, the only thing I'm really doing is working and.... yeah. I guess I keep thinking about how depressed I get in the winter months and it depresses me. Like I want to avoid that part of the year so much. Just skip to summer all the time.

But, everything has a season and all seasons must come to an end.

*sigh*

..... I just wish I was in England.

Over and out ♥

Books

I was walking through Borders book store a week or so ago, marveling at all the books and making mental note of the ones I want to buy when I had a thought:

Everyone has a story to tell. Whats yours?

Would your story be a mystery, a fantasy, a romance, a drama, a tragedy?

Would your story be a novel, a sonnet, a short story, an essay, a picture book?

What would the cover look like? Have you ever noticed that when there is a book where the main character is a woman, and it's about love or shoes, that they almost always show just a pair of legs from the thigh down in high heals? Seriously. I hate my legs, so my cover would probably have my boobs or my eyes/hair on it. Just say'n.

Who would play you in the movie adaptation?

I always believe in the truth that our stories are constantly unwritten.

Chapters open and close, but the book is never finished.

I like to think that, right now, I'm in the "Exposition" stage of my book. I'm still going though school, trying to muddle my way though life and figure out myself and the world, trying to maintain friendships and relationships.

I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love dearly and loves me and we're going to meet sometime very, very soon. Who knows where that will go. Shakespeare once said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." I highly doubt that our journey though life will end when we meet, but our journey for love and to find each other will end.

Maybe a Red Haring will be thrown in some where to my story to throw everyone, my self included, off track.

Will there be an antagonist who will constantly seek to ruin everything?

Who knows.

All I know is that, no matter how everything turns out, I just take things day by day and let chapters open and close as they come.

Over and out ♥

Things That I Love...

- I love the way my chickens run up to me when I go out to feed them. It's like they're saying "Hi Mommy!"

- I love the way my dog looks when she sleeps. And the noises she makes. And how she always some how ends up sleeping in my bed with her head in the back of my neck.

- I love the way the world smells right before and after it rains.

- I love pulling warm laundry out of the dryer. And clean bed sheets.

- I love that as I grow older, I grow wiser.

- I love knowing that the quality of your friends is better than the quantity.

- I love that some of my friends and I have a mind link :D

- I love the way David says my name... and the way he says every single word that comes out of his mouth ♥

- I love the twilight hours of the day.

- I love lobsters.

- I love the fact that there is still so much I need to learn.

- I love that I love this crazy life that I lead and that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Over and out ♥

*sigh*

I'm searching for something.

I'm not quite sure what that is.

I feel as if I've slipped back into routine and I don't like it.

I want to travel some place far, far away. I want to find out if David got the funding to come here so I can start planning, but we won't know that for a few more weeks. I don't see this as a bad thing. He called the organization and they said that they had to do some more checks on him before he would know anything, which is better than a flat out NO. Also it gives me more time to work and save up money. And I'm taking this semester off of school so it's not like I have any pressing things to attend to.

I want to go to England first and for most to visit David. I also want to go to Scotland while there, cause David is literally spitting distance from there. Also Ireland would be awesome.

I also want to visit Canada. I'm not sure why. I do have a pin pal who lives there who I'd like to visit, but he's all the way over in Surrey. If you're not familiar with your geography, that's all the way over by Washington state. I'd also like to visit Quebec and those French speaking Canadians.

In October I'm going to Mount Rushmore with my parents which I'm SUPER geeked about :-)

I guess I should do something here to shake things up.... But what?

I want to go with Matt to the Offsets and jump off a cliff, but who knows when that will happen. I want to go to a party, but getting my drank on all the time gets old after a while.

I have something to do every day of my summer, but I still yearn for more to silence my restless soul.

*sigh*

Over and out ♥

Stir Fry (or more of a Lo Mein dish really)

Alright, so I'm trying to make Stir Fry tonight, since I got called off work.

This is my first time attempting this, BTW.

Here we go!

-2 Chicken Breast, cut into chunks, use more or less depending on how many you're serving
-Mixed vegetables (I used some frozen bag vegetables and a can of "Stir Fry Vegetables")
-Udon Noodles



(I found some at Shop N' Save, but you could boil some Ramen noodles and add them, minus the sauce packet)
-Some kind of sauce (I'm using "Iron Chef General Tao Sous" sauce from Shop N' Save, but you can use whatever Asian inspired sauce you like)

1. Heat oil in a pan over medium/medium-high heat.

2. Cook the chicken.

3. Add the vegetables. Some of mine were frozen so they take a bit longer to cook. (I used a broccoli, carrot, squash mix in the freezer and a can of "Stir Fry Vegetables")

4. Add the noodles. I took them out of the package, threw away the seasoning package that came with it and just detangled them with my hands and threw them into the pan.

5. Add the sauce. I added it, mixed it, and covered the pan and let it do its thing for a while. I added a few dashes of soy sauce for good measure.

Yes, I realize this is not technically "stir frying" but, come on, I don't even have a Wok. So perhaps I should call this more of a Lo Mein dish.

Anyway, it turned out looking like this.



And I put it in my fancy Ramen bowl from World Market.





Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnndddddddd........ It turned out pretty darn tasty.

And lots of left overs.

Next indevor: Basmati Rice with Cloves and Cardamom

Over and out ♥

Confessions Of A Tropical Sno Worker

You know how they have "Confessions of a Call Girl" or "Confessions of a Shopaholic"?

Well I'm starting a "Confessions of a Tropical Sno Worker" blog. In list form.

Because I love lists. Lists are cool.

• We do talk about customers when we close the window. When someone walks up to the hut, we will curse them out as much as we can, but when the window opens, it's show time and we'll be as sweet a possible to you.

• No, you may not have every flavor we have. The limit is 5. Once you go past that, you can't taste anything but sugar.

• All Tropical Sno flavors are NOT created equal. We all have our favorites and we all have different tastes. So please find your own favorite!
  

• We have nicknames for all of our regulars. They range from That Guy Who Tips Really Well to Pineapple Guy.

• We also have nicknames for our regulars who we hate. They range from Cruella to Big Black Lady.

• If you come up to the window and you're paying for over 5 people, we expect a tip. If you don't give us one, that gives us incentive to call you a bitch, behind closed windows of course.

• Yes, we love to have fun with our customers. It makes the 4 hours inside the hut go by quicker. Please don't take offense to our making fun of you or our silly little things we do to keep ourselves entertained - we're just bored out of our fucking minds.

• Please and thank you's are a must at T-sno. If you do not say "thank you" when we hand you your snow cone, this also gives us incentive to yell at you... and call you a bitch.

• When we open the window to take your order and we greet you, do not automatically call out your order, "Large Spiderman with Vanilla" then throw your money at us and walk away. This also gives us incentive to yell at you, call you a bitch AND make your sno cone icey.

• We are not your mother! Pick up your damn spoon if you drop it on the ground. Do not rip up your Styrofoam cup into a million little pieces. I don't want to clean it up!

• Watch your children when you're at Tropical Sno. We are located directly next to an extremely busy road that people fly down all the time in their cars. I do not want to have to break out my Future Nurse of America skills on your flat as a pancake kid cause you were too busy talking on your cell phone to watch the little bastard.

• If you're coming from the pool, don't give me wet money. It's fun for no one. Put it in a ziplock baggie for Christ sakes.

• The steel door on the hut has an impenetrable force field around it. We're had two robbery attempts, one with a crow bar and one with an ax (yes, an AX), and still no one has taken anything from the inside. The outside, that's a different story.

• For some reason, people cannot park correctly when visiting Tropical Sno. Please do not park your vehicle out in the middle of BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt) of the parking lot and then cause a traffic jam for other Tropical Sno patrons and members of the pool. I still consider our selves guests of the pool and treat parking my car as such.

• If you ask me if a flavor tastes good and I don't think it does, I'll tell you. I'm not being mean, I'm just being honest.

I can't think of anything else to add to this at the moment, but if any other Tropical Sno workers would like to add to this, tell me!

Over and out ♥